Do I Have to Let You Go?

If I have to let you go

I need to do it all at once

I cannot take the bandage off a little at a time

I must take one mighty rip

And expose the tender pulsating flesh of the wound.

Bright red and hurting. Aching and oozing.

And then I must look at it and

See

All the things you meant to me.

All the ways I loved you.

I loved to look at you, to see your precious face.

I loved to hear your voice, singing to my ears.

I loved to touch your hard and calloused skin, your flexing muscles.

I love the way my soul responded to your soul, and the way your soul responded to mine.

But

I must look at those things and let them go.

Let those things  fade away: first into memories and then away into nothingness.

And soon it will all be healed

A long and twisting scar

When I look at it some day, I will tell myself.

Once upon a time

I loved

I loved so deeply that it hurt.

I loved so deeply that I let you go.

Gwendolyn Villebrun