Memo from the Old Man’s Garden Loneliness

Someday you will feel lonely. Perhaps it is a day when a friend disappointed you because they couldn’t come with you,  a day when you walked in a crowd of people and felt lost and unknown, or perhaps it has been building bit by bit  to a crescendo. You have tried all you know to fend it off- got busier, spent more time doing things you really don’t want to do, drank more, ate more, played more games, slept more, worked more -anything that keeps the wold of loneliness away. You built a virtual bonfire to try and keep yourself safe. You have looked around at other people and wondered how they could do it, live in a world of lonely and seemingly not know about it. You don’t know they are fighting their own demons of loneliness with parties and activities, faking it too. Then one day, there it is facing you, snarling teeth- I‘ve come for you it says. Your heart clenches with fear; you have no more defences. The bonfires are out and there are only cold ashes left. Fear rises through your body turning your hands and feet to ice.

That day is a good day. Don’t turn to run. Look into the eyes of your fear and stare it down. Who is this loneliness that has come to call? What is it bringing? Pretend to participate in the Arctic Polar dip-don’t run away from the freezing waters – run towards your loneliness and jump in. Surprisingly you do not sink. Rest there for a while, held by the buoyancy, floating in a sea of possibility, realizing that possibly loneliness has a gift for you. Just like the drop of water in the ocean surrounded by all the other drops, you cannot be alone no matter how lonely you feel. You are supported by the whole, not the individual drops. Let the waves of loneliness ride through you like the waves beating on the shore, dissipating on the beach and then returning to their source spent.  Stay a while longer and you will feel warmth flooding through your body, healing all the icy spots.  Now, you know.  You are not alone, even if you felt you were in the loneliest place in the world. You can never be alone, even if you were a hermit in the farthest reaches of the world. It is impossible to be alone. There are millions of hearts beating just as your beats, you are one with them and everyone is connected by the Invisible One. The Invisible One has brought you  home to Yourself. In Yourself there is no loneliness, only love.